“Oh my God!” If you’ve ever heard that line delivered with the emotional depth of a potato, you’ve already encountered the essence of Troll 2. Directed by Claudio Fragasso in 1990, this film is a glorious trainwreck that somehow derailed its way into the pantheon of cult classics. Famously dubbed “the best worst movie ever made,” Troll 2 is a baffling concoction of nonsensical plot, terrible acting, and some of the most unintentionally hilarious dialogue ever put to screen. The kicker? There are no trolls. That’s right—not a single one. Welcome to Nilbog, where everything is as absurd as it sounds.

The story follows a family that swaps homes with another family as part of a rural vacation exchange program (because that’s something people apparently do). They arrive in the quaint town of Nilbog (spoiler: it’s “Goblin” spelled backward), where vegetarian goblins are on a mission to turn humans into plant-based sludge so they can eat them. If this sounds ridiculous, it’s only the beginning. Guided by the ghost of his dead grandfather, young Joshua must save his family from being turned into leafy snacks, all while everyone around him seems to operate on another plane of reality.

Fragasso’s direction is best described as… existent. Every scene feels like it was shot in one take, and it’s as if Fragasso actively avoided explaining anything about tone or motivation to his actors. There’s a surreal quality to the whole production, as though it were created by aliens trying to approximate human behavior but failing spectacularly. And that’s where the magic lies. The film’s sincerity is its saving grace; it’s so earnestly terrible that you can’t help but be charmed by it.

The writing by Fragasso and his wife, Rossella Drudi, is a treasure trove of absurdity. Dialogue like “You can’t piss on hospitality! I WON’T ALLOW IT!” and “They’re eating her! And then they’re going to eat me! Oh my God!” has become legendary in the annals of bad movie history. The plot is a nonsensical jumble of anti-meat propaganda, supernatural shenanigans, and amateur horror tropes. It’s as though the script was cobbled together using a random horror generator, and yet every misstep makes it more entertaining.

The acting is… well, it’s something. George Hardy as the father is the standout, delivering his lines with the conviction of someone who absolutely believes he’s in a real movie. Michael Stephenson as Joshua tries his best to carry the plot, while the rest of the cast fluctuates between wooden and bizarrely over-the-top. Then there’s Deborah Reed as the goblin queen, who deserves her own category for hamming it up so hard that her performance transcends badness and becomes hypnotic.

The goblins themselves, created using low-budget masks and burlap sacks, are a sight to behold. The costumes are laughably amateurish, looking more like rejected Halloween costumes than actual monsters. The “special effects” involve gallons of green slime, some bad makeup, and a whole lot of questionable creative choices. The cinematography is as uninspired as the set design, but that somehow adds to the film’s charm, giving it the aesthetic of a particularly ambitious high school play.

Editing by Jay Kamen is disjointed at best, with scenes awkwardly cutting to unrelated moments or lingering far too long on actors who clearly don’t know what to do. The pacing is erratic, veering from long stretches of awkward exposition to sudden, baffling action sequences. And let’s not forget the music—a bizarre, synth-heavy score that feels completely out of place and yet somehow perfect for the film’s bizarre tone.

In conclusion, Troll 2 is a cinematic disasterpiece that has to be seen to be believed. It’s a perfect storm of bad acting, nonsensical writing, and laughable effects, but its sincerity and unintentional comedy make it endlessly entertaining. It’s not just a movie—it’s an experience, one best enjoyed with a group of friends and plenty of snacks (preferably not green and slimy).

Scores (out of 5)

• Directing: 1/5 (but 5/5 for unintentional comedy)

• Writing: 0.5/5 (but 5/5 for quotability)

• Acting: 1/5 (but 5/5 for sheer enthusiasm)

• Cinematography: 1/5 (but 5/5 for accidental surrealism)

• Editing: 1/5 (but 4/5 for comedic effect)

• Overall Film: 1/5 (but 5/5 as a cult classic)

Final Verdict

Troll 2 is a rare gem, a film so outrageously bad that it loops back around to being brilliant. It’s an unintentional comedy masterpiece that has earned its place as one of the greatest cult films of all time. If you’re looking for a coherent plot or technical competence, look elsewhere. But if you want to laugh until you cry at a movie that tries so hard and fails so spectacularly, Troll 2 is the perfect choice. Long live Nilbog!